i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Two words: blizzard sex
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
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