just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I love you.
Bad choice
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
