woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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