wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
