How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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