This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
