your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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