I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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