you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
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