..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
