I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize