i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize