last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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