the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
