Please don't use social media to get back at me.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
me + whiskey = a bad person
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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