i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
