glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
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One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
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idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
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