Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Randomize
