Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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