can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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