If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
