I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
