Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
