you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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