Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize