Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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