im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Sext me about skeletons
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize