you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
