Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
