guys are only as good as the porn they watch
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Randomize
