LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
