are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
