Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
