I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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