is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
