Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize