I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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