never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
