It's a beautiful day for a hangover
time to smoke my breakfast
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
pop tarts are not kleenex
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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