trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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