Me. At least after what I've been through.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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