ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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