I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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