i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
