I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
