Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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