Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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