just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
