guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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