You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
