i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
