Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
