My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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