Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
