I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM