Texts From Last Night

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  (406): View more from Montana

  someone owes me an orgasm

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  (406): someone owes me an orgasm http://tfl.nu/u7wj
  Replies (17) Good night (1602) Bad night (3346)
• Favorite

  (915): View more from Texas

  I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic

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  (915): I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic http://tfl.nu/4fd0
  Replies (35) Good night (3602) Bad night (1634)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.

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  (708): I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off. http://tfl.nu/0f1b
  Replies (34) Good night (5288) Bad night (1124)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.

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  (609): LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco. http://tfl.nu/49kl
  Replies (7) Good night (4343) Bad night (1320)
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  Where was your thought process?

  (1-778): View more from British Columbia

  Drowning in my hangover.

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  (778): Where was your thought process? (1-778): Drowning in my hangover. http://tfl.nu/hpz6
  Replies (1) Good night (1504) Bad night (687)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.

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  (651): Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle. http://tfl.nu/f80s
  Replies (12) Good night (1112) Bad night (867)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great

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  (978): It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great http://tfl.nu/o9gd
  Replies (6) Good night (2368) Bad night (633)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.

  (602): View more from Arizona

  What other scale is there?

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  (480): While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale. (602): What other scale is there? http://tfl.nu/fdnh
  Replies (17) Good night (2634) Bad night (676)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?

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  (306): Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out? http://tfl.nu/y1by
  Replies (5) Good night (2536) Bad night (652)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.

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  (989): I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story. http://tfl.nu/i8j1
  Replies (1) Good night (923) Bad night (487)
• Favorite

  (213): View more from California

  WTF DUDE?

  (323): View more from California

  Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this

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  (213): WTF DUDE? (323): Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this http://tfl.nu/ooar
  Replies (6) Good night (1207) Bad night (538)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER

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  (215): And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER http://tfl.nu/p5xk
  Replies (2) Good night (973) Bad night (262)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.

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  (907): As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan. http://tfl.nu/b2sh
  Replies (2) Good night (532) Bad night (272)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this

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  (817): There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this http://tfl.nu/hvu0
  Replies (1) Good night (979) Bad night (379)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?

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  (714): Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself? http://tfl.nu/qmio
  Replies (0) Good night (439) Bad night (238)

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