You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.