I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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