Texts From Last Night

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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom

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  (504): Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom http://tfl.nu/9j8t
  Replies (6) Good night (4020) Bad night (568)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.

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  (913): checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad. http://tfl.nu/40qb
  Replies (27) Good night (1669) Bad night (7275)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??

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  (970): She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care?? http://tfl.nu/ucqp
  Replies (47) Good night (2081) Bad night (3437)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.

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  (719): I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere. http://tfl.nu/w0w9
  Replies (11) Good night (3551) Bad night (524)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"

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  (484): the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?" http://tfl.nu/cfh8
  Replies (68) Good night (4346) Bad night (1544)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday

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  (610): Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday http://tfl.nu/c2dx
  Replies (12) Good night (4702) Bad night (946)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Dude, its January.

  (970): View more from Colorado

  We're going to do the voices too.

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  (970): We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots. (303): Dude, its January. (970): We're going to do the voices too. http://tfl.nu/k3gb
  Replies (13) Good night (5391) Bad night (867)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.

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  (978): He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment. http://tfl.nu/fwul
  Replies (12) Good night (2587) Bad night (1109)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth

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  (540): The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth http://tfl.nu/eovp
  Replies (8) Good night (3018) Bad night (658)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.

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  (207): It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective. http://tfl.nu/0c9h
  Replies (6) Good night (1893) Bad night (456)
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  (575): View more from New Mexico

  It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.

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  (575): It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest. http://tfl.nu/dnlf
  Replies (10) Good night (1653) Bad night (446)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.

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  (708): Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator. http://tfl.nu/0mqk
  Replies (5) Good night (742) Bad night (334)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place

  (1-515): View more from Iowa

  I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck

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  (515): We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place (1-515): I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck http://tfl.nu/93u8
  Replies (2) Good night (638) Bad night (306)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?

  (303): View more from Colorado

  That depends, how hot is your boss?

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  (720): Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am? (303): That depends, how hot is your boss? http://tfl.nu/3abd
  Replies (5) Good night (871) Bad night (321)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?

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  (816): so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet? http://tfl.nu/ne2f
  Replies (2) Good night (536) Bad night (245)

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