Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
