Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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