First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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