I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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