vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
