Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
My Sexting was not on an AP level
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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