well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
