yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
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