I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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